Tuesday, January 09, 2007

the Dutch, such an admirable people

I once spent a week in Amsterdam, and I was astonished at how fabulous and nigh-flawless Dutch society seemed to me. It seems as though the Dutch have solved the modern and urban problems which so plague American cities. Even the junkies were presentable and not begging for change. Everyone seemed so well-educated (the average Dutch person appears to be multilingual and highly versed in history, not to mention polite as all get out). I stumbled upon a huge, open air book market, and I so strongly wanted to become Dutch and stay there forever. The drug problems, the crime problems (yes, I know there is crime in the Netherlands, but I'll take the very worst neighborhoods of Amsterdam over the killing zones in Richmond and Oakland, any day), prostitution, environmentalism: everything seems so tidily sorted out. (Incidentally last year I planted tulip bulbs, but they won't thrive in my mild climate. It turns out you need a frost to shock them into a true hibernation in order for tulips to excel. I may or may not see mine again this spring, but I knew that when I planted them. I figured I'd try to enjoy what I got, seeing as how I am too lazy to dip up the bulbs and put them in my refrigerator for three months like a true gardener would).

The long arm of the Dutch has reached out and tapped me on the shoulder, and I've started doing more housework. Why? Self-absorbed as always, not to mention always attempting, in my poseur way, to be international, I noticed there was a sizeable influx of Dutch readers, and I followed them back to this saucy Dutch website*, where, as best as I can determine, someone recommended me to the other readers as a good source of unimportant information (and yes, that does not insult me. It's a pretty accurate description of me. For example, want to know the difference between an aperitif and a digestif? Ask me. Want some useful information? Go elsewhere). The Dutch website taught me that regular housework is likely to reduce my risks of breast cancer. Being fond of my tits (my best feature, aside from my sparkling green eyes--- forget the rest), I have obeyed this Dutch mandate.

We'll see how long it lasts. My history with housework is one of faux feminist-tinged laziness.

*The Dutch website discusses a recent, irritating study showing a significantly lower incidence of breast cancer in women who do regular, significant amounts of housework.


Anonymous said...

If blogging counts, you're safe. You're smoking today!
Sidenote: I just got a repeat verification word! I got it just this morning and commented then that it could be a name "Smenita" Whodathunk?

the Drunken Housewife said...

I'm sure that is a name somewhere; maybe Serbo-Croatia or Uzmenistan. I like that one.

Incidentally the 36 rats just recently confiscated from the crazy Petaluma hoarder are being held at the Petaluma pound right now. Rat rescue groups and individuals are standing by, ready to help find homes for the little sweeties.

Anonymous said...

Not sure about that link. I was expecting something in French, German or Flemish, but instead got a fairly impenetrable (to me) and (again, to me) uninteresting discussion on HTTP.

Anonymous said...


Only in Bayeria could you write the phrase "rat rescue groups" without a trace of sarcasm...

the Drunken Housewife said...

Sorry, Jim, about that link! Try it again; I suspect you might like it.

Anonymous said...

Housework...how it taunts me with my imperfections and shortcomings. Bleh.

Last night, I should have put away the clean (and folded) laundry that has been sitting for a week in the chair that I once envisioned as a place I could sit in the cozy sunlit nook in my bedroom, and listen to music while enjoying a good book.

Yeah, that plan lasted about a week, and since that time, said chair has been the residence of the clean half of my wardrobe.

I wish I could be clean like my mom is, but I'm just too f'ing lazy.

When I was in college, and an ardent feminist, I told her I'd hire someone to clean when I was working full-time. Yeah, that was a realistic plan.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't get the link to work yesterday, but today it works. I'm guessing this is a "How To" for breast self exams? Also Rat Boy doesn't live in P'town anymore, so maybe refer to him as the Bayeria Rodent Hotelier

Anonymous said...

I remember my visit to Amsterdam in the summer of 1991.

I was struck by the fact that even the transients spoke fluent English.

On the downside, cleaning up after one's dog didn't seem to be on the high priority list.

I was traveling with three other guys and one girl. You should have seen the look we got from the hotel clerk when we asked for one room. She said, "Nice and quiet, OK?" as she nodded her head. No, nothing naughty happened in that room, either.

Oh, to be 22 again!

I love the Dutch language. In written form, it looks like badly misspelled German... lots and lots of double letters. Not so pretty to listen to, though.


Anonymous said...

as an illiterate american, I'm thinking the article is about how housecleaning increases breast size and makes them perkier.

tell me if I'm wrong.