Friday, January 12, 2007

guest appearance by the Sober Husband

Which of your children is more like you and which is more like Carole?

Our older daughter shares Carole's aptitude for reading and her social competence. I am a slow reader, and I'm terrible with people.

Our younger daughter enjoys absurdity, as I have enjoyed Monty Python.

But the older one and I watch Dr. Who together, which Carole loathes, and the younger one dotes on the cats, which I resent.

From my perspective, we are all quite distinct individuals.

Are you SOBER sober or just sober?

I am not a teetotaler, but my wife definitely drinks more. I am always the designated driver when we go out, and I never drink alone.

Do you ever do the cooking?

Well, I do prepare food, but I'm not sure one would call it "cooking".

I often make breakfast food, like coffee and toast, and I can pour milk on cereal. I make french toast on the weekends, and pasta on weeknights. When I make food, I always offer some to the wife, but she invariably declines.

Have you ever thought about having your own blog?

I operate many web sites with various kinds of content, but I do not identify myself with any of them personally. I have a work image to maintain.

Whenever I encounter any new professional prospect, I'm certain that the first thing they do is google me. I can not allow these people to learn about me through the lens of personal anecdotes.

If I were to blog, it would have to be on a technical subject, for the purpose of promoting my reputation as an expert. Or it would have to be anonymous, in which case I wouldn't tell you about it anyway.

How do you feel about being married to a woman who is adored by millions? Have you ever been introduced as "Mr. Drunken Housewife"?

I am happy for every bit of success that my wife achieves.

I have never been introduced in that way, but if more people in our personal life knew about her blog identity, then it would surely happen. It's a matter of time.

Did you ever use Mathematica?

Yes, I have used Mathematica many times since its invention twenty years ago. It's a fascinating and useful program. I used it last year for working out the details of some linear algebra I was doing for a machine navigation project.

But when you mention Mathematica, I don't think so much about its usefulness as I think about Stephen Wolfram, the creator of the program. He was a brilliant, promising young scientist, but it turns out that his only substantial contribution to the world is a piece of software. This is something like my image of myself.

My dad was the only man in a house chock full of...uh...colorful women. He was the master of the Smile and Nod when we were all at a 10 and he needed us at a 4. How do you cope being the sole man?

I smile and nod a great deal.

But keep this in perspective. I have to cope with so much in life. The sexual mix of our household per se does not present a challenge.

1: Did you REALLY have sex in a elementry school bathroom?

This is a slanderous rumor. It was a pre-K. I also add that it was at night. And that we did this to escape from an oppressively tedious parent committee meeting. It's only human, like all those Londoners during the blitz.


Anonymous said...

omg, i just felt like i interviewed the school principal.

Anonymous said...

I can't blame either of you for wanting to escape a parent/teacher meeting. Those things are hideous. i'd drink first, but I suspect they could smell the liquor on my breath and would then disapprove more than they already do.