|Your Love Life Secrets Are|
Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.
You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?
You expect a lot from your lover - you want the full package. You tend to be very picky.
In fights, you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out.
Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.
The only thing which is off-base is the judgment that "you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out." Ha, the Sober Husband wishes I backed down from conflict. I wasn't a litigator for nothing. We actually do get along very well day in and day out, but it's not from any fear of conflict.
The things which are surprisingly true and dead-on are the judgments that I would have a few True Loves and get over losing them well. That has been the case (although given the amount of interdependence we share, I would NOT get over the Sober Husband easily and will endeavor not to be in that position. We're what the codependent people call "enmeshed", all right. It's a complex business, keeping our carefully cosseted children, pets, and insane mortgage all on track, and it requires more than one grown-up to keep it all functioning).
The first time I fell in love and had my heart broken, I believed that I was destined to live a loveless life from then on. I thought that not everyone falls in love and that, for the ones who are fortunate enough to fall in love, that there is just one True Love apiece. If someone, like me, didn't manage to make a life with their love, then that was it. That person had been extremely lucky to find their one person and fall in love, but that was the end of their luck. (In retrospect, this was an artifact from my own rather loveless childhood, and perhaps, more positively, due to my parents' relationship dating from their own high school years).
My teen-aged nephew came to visit us the year before last, and he was brooding over the end of his first relationship. He expected us to feel sorry for him over this when he referred to it self-pityingly at the dinner table, and he was visibly shocked when Anton barked at him, "So you had your heart broken? Get used to it!" with a humorless laugh.
A bit more gently, I elaborated: "At your age, it's extremely unlikely that you're going to stay with the person you are with for ever. Probably not even 1 percent of sixteen year-olds stay with their high school girlfriend. You're going to be in lots of relationships, and you're going to get dumped and you're going to dump people."
"So get used to it!" Anton interjected again (the man clearly has some baggage from his own teen years which is best left unexamined). Our harsh advice had a salutary effect upon my nephew, who could be seen to enjoy the thought of dumping someone else in the future. It's a wonder more people don't turn to us for romantic advice.