Friday, August 31, 2007
unique (and it's okay to use that snarkily, if you wish) opportunity
Today my poor kitten who was mauled by the raccoon went back to the vet. He had developed a large seroma on the top of his head, which may be why he has been unable to open one eye (he opens his other eye a little bit and manages to see quite well through that slit). The poor baby had to be put under general anesthesia to get shaved, have his seroma drained, and get and a surgical drain installed. Next week he'll go back to have his drain removed. In the meantime, I have to continue medicating his eyes and giving him antibiotics and a painkiller.
Labor Day is traditionally a time to raise funds for medical treatment (remember the Jerry Lewis telethons? I saw that in person once when I happened to be in Las Vegas over Labor Day. In person, it seemed really dusty and boring, but yes, it was a very good cause. We soon drifted away from the telethon room and back to the blackjack tables, though).
Here at Drunken Housewife Industries we are hoping to raise some funds to help defray the kitten's large veterinary bills from his mauling. (Some of his care -- such as, thankfully, today's surgery-- is free to me, his foster mother, but I have to pay for his emergency treatments which occur after regular office hours, and I'm out over $400 to date). In the tradition of public radio (where I used to work as a young person. Indeed, back in the late 80's I could be heard live begging over the air for funds to pay for a new transmitter), I have exciting Donor Packages available. How to contribute: the easiest way is to send a Paypal contribution to email@example.com, OR, more labor intensively, email firstname.lastname@example.org for a mailing address to send checks or cash. Include a shipping address.
What's in it for you? Well, aside from the karma and good feelings about sponsoring a young animal caught in a crisis, you'll receive a Drunken Housewife Donor's Thank You Package. I'll give each package a theme, such as "For A Sot" or "High-brow" or "Lowlife in High Heels" or "Sober Husband Geek-style." These packages will contain such items as
- autographed photo of the Drunken Housewife in a silk evening gown, leading a naked man (NOT the Sober Husband) on a leash,
- original artwork by Iris and Lola,
- Linux or other geek-themed T-shirt,
- stuffed penguin imploring you to use Linux systems,
- trashy paperback thriller,
- high-minded hardback nonfiction or highly erudite fiction,
- vegetarian cookbook,
- assorted alternative, artsy comic books,
- lesbian porn mags from the Drunken Housewife's "bicurious" phase,
- forty or fifty year old collectible paperbacks (for a very generous donor, there could be even one of my treasured Richard Stark "Parker" paperbacks, which are very hard to come by indeed).
etc.., etc... Just like with public radio, the more you donate, the more you receive. Feel free to specify your own theme or leave it up to me.