Thursday, August 16, 2007

secrets that should best be left unshared

From ""Sex Secrets of an American Geisha" by Py Kim Conant:
Create a shrine to his manhood. Your man will be very pleased when you create a shrine to him in your bedroom. He’ll know how much his sexuality inspires you when you devote some space in your bedroom exclusively to his maleness. Your shrine may contain a naked framed photo of him or one of the two of you, small notes and poems you have written for him, incense, candles and other personal items that reflect your relationship. You may change the elements that make up the shrine from time to time, always pointing out to your man what is new.
If I were to follow this advice, I know the person most interested in the shrine to the Sober Husband's manhood would be seven year-old Iris Uber Alles. She would be constantly cross-examining me over each object and monitoring any additions or deletions. And a nude photo? Four year-old Lola would shriek, "I SEE A PENIS!" and would doubtlessly confide artlessly in the world at large, "I have a picture of my daddy's penis!" (because of course everything in the house not nailed down or previously claimed by Iris belongs to Lola).

Beyond the Oedipal issues, I think it's outright creepy to worship a specific man's "maleness." There are plenty of sacred lingams about in India, but those are more generic. Appreciate, yes; make good use of, certainly; but worship, no.

I myself would be frankly creeped out if my husband were to create a shrine to my sexuality and perhaps burn a candle there on days when he especially wished to get laid. I should be worshiped indeed, no question about that, but in a more subtle manner which doesn't traumatize the children or raise questions of either heresy or mental stability.


hughman said...

pffftttt. like men need an alter to their already over-inflated ego. isn't just looking at you an answer as to his desirablilty?

lola and iris would be right in mocking this temple. not because the SH is undeserving but because he doesn't need it. look at you, a catch any man would be happy to have met.

other than not making sardine tapas of course.

Rusty said...

I just had to tell you this post made me laugh out loud, for real.

Amy said...


Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure if I erected a shrine (no pun intended) to a man's member, he'd run screaming. And then tell all his friends that I'm crazy. And then continue to brag about it for the rest of his life. Unless it's truly magnificent (and really, how many of them are), let's just keep it to the insincere compliment every once in a while, eh?

Amy said...

OK, so I went and checked out her amazon profile and have the following thoughts:

* What she has to say reminds me of the way people talk when they're having a relationship that makes them feel as if they've just discovered sex and assume everyone else wants to hear about it. Personally I wish I hadn't.

* Geisha are not sex workers, and occupy a role much like American prima ballerinas. But after WWII many Japanese women made money by working as prostitutes and telling the soldiers they were Geisha. Appalled Geisha and supporters have been trying to salvage their public image ever since. Koreans have a long history of mistreatment at the hands of the Japanese. Conant is Korean.

* If she were white, she could never get away with this Geisha shit.

Amy said...

* Even though she is annoying, I sort of admire her clever evil, if that is what this is.

the Drunken Housewife said...

People I know really ridiculed those white chicks who wrote "The Rules", but they would never lay into a woman of Asian descent who wrote a sex book. Also, our society really fetishizes Asian women as sex objects. So I think she has a potentially lucrative plan here, but I would never assume she was being authentic to any geisha tradition or knowledge.

I think you're so right, A., about the "can't shut up about sex" thing. I've always been annoyed about people who go on and on about their sex life (although I certainly slip out some TMI from time to time) and people who think they have somehow become imbued with special insights into sexuality. Give it a rest is my position.

Anonymous said...

While the idea of personal sex shrines is just a wee bit short of kinky, I think the act of sex in a relationship is enough to make it special. This book I'm reading talks about sex as a deeper means of interaction with your significant other, and it makes sense; I'm not young myself, but my husband and I just came from a pretty rough period - and we're starting to mend things already. No shrines required.