Tuesday, July 03, 2007

"Dumb old Mommy!"

Yesterday I took Lola to her swimming lesson, dragging Iris along. Instead of her usual bathing suit, Lola sported a child's wetsuit, and because it was the length of Bermuda shorts, she didn't put clothes on over it. I packed her underwear, towel, robe, and goggles, like I always do, but it wasn't until she was naked in the locker room after her lesson that I realized I hadn't brought her any clothes. "God, I'm a dumb old Mommy today," I said. "Dumb old Mommy!" repeated Lola with relish. Lola was so unhappy at the prospect of putting her wet wetsuit back on ("It itches me!") that I had to promise to take her immediately to the used clothing store down the street, where she chose a floral chiffon dress. Of course, that meant that in the interests of fairness, I had to buy something for Iris, too (funky sage green capris). The price of this mistake: $17 plus the horrors of clothing shopping with both fashion girls simultaneously, not an experience for the weak.

Today I, as is my wont, carried yesterday's coffee grounds out to fertilize the garden before making fresh coffee. After I sprinkled the grounds about, I walked around to admire the plants I put in the day before. Over in one bed, I impulsively grabbed a large, leafy plant, thinking, "Damn, this weed is really taking over", and pulled it out. Imagine my horror when I saw the large bulb that came up with it and I realized I had just murdered a dahlia (I put this dahlia bulb in aeons ago, along with several others, and I had forgotten its placement). I replanted the bulb, but all its exuberant, leafy growth was gone. I felt like an idiot. Poor dahlia, it was doing so well and would have grown beautiful flowers. The moral here is to not do anything murderous in the garden before actually drinking some coffee.

Poor Dumb Old Mommy. God only knows what atrocities of idiocy I'll get up to tomorrow.


hughman said...

i think $17 dollars (plus 2 new outfits!) is a small price to pay. you were smart enough to go to a used clothing store!

plus the dahlia was planning something shifty, acting like a weed. it was probably in cahoots with some dandelions.

Silliyak said...

Please don't take the dearth of comments as "If you want an argument, you'll have to change the subject."
I think you're being too hard on yourself.

the Drunken Housewife said...

$17 was highly reasonable for what we got, but my God, shopping for clothes with both children is an ordeal.

hughman said...

LOL!!! tell us more! are their opinions so different? did they insist on modeling their choices?

the Drunken Housewife said...

Iris insults Lola's choice of clothing options. Lola insists that just buying a dress isn't enough; she needs "beautiful pants" to wear underneath them. There are no pants in her size beautiful enough for her; pants I show her are "dorky" or "not beautiful enough." Iris argues that Lola shouldn't be allowed to get two things. Lola picks a grown-up's shirt and wants it. They keep wandering off. They pull stuff off the hangers. They insist on carrying things all over the store. It grates on the nerves, it just does.

hughman said...


this is too funny.