Wednesday, December 12, 2007

meeting the readers, and acting like a psycho!

So our esteemed commenter Brown (one of the prizewinners from the First, Possibly Annual, Readers' Photo Contest) came all the way across the continent on business, and this seemed a worthy basis to round up some of the local regulars. The august holder of the Mr. Drunken Househusband title, Silliyak, and his esteemed spouse, Moonrabbit, plus commenter A. all convened upon the Drunken Housewife's home last Sunday. All was proceeding according to plan (although I had hoped to hook our dear Hughman up for a videoconference, but that was not to materialize, alas). The commenters were, to a person, as congenial and witty as one would have expected.

But then... I was suddenly overcome by nausea and had to slip out in order to vomit repeatedly. I brushed my teeth, reapplied my lipstick, washed my hands like a surgeon, and went back downstairs. I told the Sober Husband that I felt that I had food poisoning from a questionable egg consumed earlier in the day and needed him to step up to the fore.

I was caught in a dilemma. Here were these delightful people, with their charming hostess gifts and nice manners, ready to spend a lovely evening, and since I'd never met them in person before, perhaps they would think I was some kind of a psycho if I abruptly sent them away. I didn't want to ruin anyone's evening, so I felt I could spare them knowing I'd become ill. (Since then, I've been advised that it was really stupid of me not to immediately send everyone away, as I was risking exposing them. Sorry, beloved commenters! I was a well-intentioned idiot). I slipped away a few times to discreetly be ill, washing my hands like an OCD patient. Soon it became clear that not only was I leaving the room inexplicably, but I was also not joining anyone in eating or drinking. I confessed that I had just developed food poisoning, and the guests carried on.

When I was able to be present in the room, the commenters were just delightful. The low point of the evening (aside from my questionable judgment in not evicting everyone for their own health's sake) was when the Sober Husband slipped off to answer some work emails, while I was slipping off to answer the swan song of salmonella. "I need you!" I hissed at him. "It's emails from the CEO," he said defensively.

So, the record for Meeting The Readers is very mixed. When our dear 2AM visited San Francisco, the Drunken Housewife was in fine health, did not leave the room repeatedly, and got solidly trashed as one would expect of her, and on the whole, performed as billed. The second set of readers got a different experience altogether (but still were wined and dined nonetheless).

After the dear readers departed, things grew worse. I haven't left the house or eaten since. I'm hoping to try some solid food today for the first time in 72 hours. Cross your fingers for me, people, that it goes well!

14 comments:

Susan said...

I sympathize! Michael and I have both had the stomach bug for a couple days. I can finally tolerate popsicles!

Thi said...

Can you give someone food poisoning without, er, feeding them bad food?

I feel for your quandary. Here at the Thi-Haus we're not very good at hosting (or even being guests - host gifts?), so this would have increased our anxieties about being a good host as well.

On the other hand, if you disclose then the guests have the option of bidding adieu, being considerate and sympathetic guests and hanging about without judgement, or whatever.

If we were there (not that we're inviting ourselves), at least our kids could have jointly ransacked the house together.

[Not as if I wouldn't be trying to check my email, too!]

Get well, DH!

Silliyak said...

It was a lovely evening,lovely house, lovely kids, lovely felines, lovely SH, lovely food. We were having such a great time it wasn't immediately apparent that you has disappeared for the evening. I felt we might have overstayed when we realized you were feeling worse than originally advertised.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Oh, Silliyak, you and Moonrabbit were perfect guests. My condition declined dramatically as the evening went on(and happily for you, you left before it reached its peak, or rather, ebb). I thought I was going to be able to pull it off and enjoy everything but the food for a while there...

hughman said...

your fortitude in the face of being a great host is admirable. if i'd been a guest and you'd told me you were ill though, i'd have immediately become parental mode. divert the children, send the SH out for soup and get you in bed.

Brown said...

I second silliyak! None of us had a clue until SH informed us of your disposition. And what terrible news!! That's pretty monumental food poisoning.

If you return to your hardy self before long, I will be in town through Saturday very-early-am. I remain hopeful for some SH/DH company in this lovely city.

Silliyak said...

"TO" bed Hughman "TO" bed. Otherwise, well, I'm just even more befuddled than ever.

A. said...

See, I was so having so much fun (and sangria) that I totally couldn't tell you were throwing up, although I did notice you didn't eat or drink. I figured you'd been attacked by another one of your migraines.

You were still fun though. You must be a blast when you're not barfing.

lemonjuicer said...

well, i am coming to SF jan 8-17 - perhaps we can improve your 'meet the reader' good/bad ratio with a visit?

hokgardner said...

How horrible! Hope you're feeling better soon.

Silliyak said...

BTW< SH did a Yeoman's job as host. If he slipped out for a moment, it wasn't particularly noticed. I think this should be payback for the cupcake/hairdresser fiasco unless you subscribe to the 1000 attaboys equals one Oh F..K!

hughman said...

also, psycho includes taking your clothes off and dancing to stevie nicks. as much as i'd love to see that, i doubt you did it.

Alison said...

How awful for you! You must be an amazing hostess if your guests didn't notice what was going on.

And Hughman's right - your behavior hardly qualifies as psycho.

Dea (devoted lurker) said...

Dear Drunken - if you're still feeling poorly 72 hours post-onset, get thee to the doctor's post haste. Some of the nastier food-borne illnesses require prescription strength drugs to vanquish, as I found out the hard way a few years back (in SF, no less). I waited 5 days before seeking help, and was miserable the whole time. A day after starting my prescription meds I improved considerably.

Hope you feel bettter soon!