Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Christmas at the Drunken Housewife's

We had a rather quiet Christmas. First, early on Christmas Eve, Lola threw up voluminously all over what was formerly known as "the new couch." Feverish and weak, five year-old Lola was enthroned in the master bedroom and allowed that most treasured perk of the ill: all the videos she could stand. Iris was practically ill herself with jealousy.

Lola was fine the next day, in time for eight year-old Iris Uber Alles to spike a fever late on Christmas and become extremely fussy. Endless mugs of warm milk with honey were ordered up from the kitchen, and Mommy was required to stay by the sickbed at all times. When Mommy sneaked off downstairs to have some Christmas dinner leftovers, a sick and whiny child followed her down, interrupting Mommy's repast with repeated "Will Mommy come back upstairs with Hassie? When will Mommy come back up?" Today the children were listless and refused to leave the house (and indeed, poor Iris Uber Alles had the chills for much of the day). Lola raided her father's candy from his Christmas stocking and took to calling her father each time she unwrapped one of his candies. "Garbage Machine!"

"Did you hear what she calls me?" inquired the Sober Husband. "Garbage Machine!"

"Oh, Garbage Machine!" called Lola again, and she put another candy wrapper into his hand.

Sad to say, being cooped up in the house suited me just fine, given my new addiction to World of Warcraft. I'm equally ashamed and proud to inform the world that my new character has achieved level 22 (in the world of World of Warcraft, level 70 is what one aims for, so a level 22 is not particularly awe-inspiring. However, to have achieved so many levels in just a couple of days is both pathetic and impressive). Last year I held a little party on Christmas Eve which was really wonderful, and the Sober Husband wanted to repeat this, but I shrugged him off on the grounds that I didn't have the time and energy for all the cooking (but to be honest, if I weren't playing Warcraft, I could have made a ten course meal). There is some lip service given to the idea that a party might be held around New Year's.

And what holiday season would be complete without a Christmas miracle? There was one today which left my jaw hanging. The psychopathic little contractor, the one whom I believe tried twice to sabotage my car and who definitely got my friend Joyce ticketed, came up and warned me to move my car so I wouldn't get a ticket for street-cleaning. "Thank you!" I called multiple times, as this saved me $45. I'm still astonished. I hope all of you enjoyed a happy holiday and experienced plenty of your own miracles (and hopefully you got out of the house more than I did!).


2amsomewhere said...

Comprehension Quiz

The best title for this story would be:

a) We'll be Ill for Christmas

b) I Saw Daddy Taking Out the Garbage

c) I'm Dreaming of a Warcraft Christmas

d) It Was a Wonderful Couch

(was going to make some remark about how Sober was hoping all references to "garbage collection" would be in the past since moving from Java to PHP/Python, but thought that it would boost the geek level of this comment to intolerable levels)


Trouble said...

These are all lovely titles, 2 a.m. I would like to vote for d. We had a wonderful guitar hero/singstar Christmas ourselves. I feel inadequate, however, after reading your post. My character that my son "gave" me for Christmas is still only a level 7. I may have to work on that.

hughman said...

i guess my sending all those drag queens to the contractor's house worked.