Sunday, May 06, 2007

"why I don't blog" by the formidable Lemonjuicer!

The delightful Lemonjuicer, one of the winners of our First, Possibly Annual, Reader's Photo Contest, has stepped forward with her prize, a day of guest blogging. I have interspersed a few comments hither and yon.

why i dont blog.

i know... this guest blog entry is horribly overdue. [More shamefully I still haven't written the two prize entries for the winners who assigned me topics for a prize. I know, I suck. -DH]. i have been suffering from a long spell of writers block, otherwise known as 'my husband travels a lot and i am brain-dead from child care'. i am currently lubricating my mind with a cocktail - the world's most perfect margarita, of which i posted the recipe some time back in the comments section. i invite you to mix one up and drink with me, as i am far more interesting when you are drunk.

i feel honored that my rack has vaulted me into this position - for once the girls pay off!! ok, i lied. they have paid off before. that story involves a stripper and the man i currently call my husband. alas, i digress.

i apologize in advance for my lack of punctuation and capitalization. you will get used to it. i do in fact know the difference between it's and its. if i ever need to compose a letter to someone, say, Bill Clinton, i will tidy up my writing. if he ever visits me i will also flip the couch cushions to the 'visitor' side. the rest of the world gets all lower case and grungy furniture.

so, back to the title 'why i dont blog'. what do i have to blog about? despite having lived in the hearts of the gay communities of nyc, LA, and SF (yes, another former castro dweller!) i have been calling rural wisconsin my home for the past 4 years. i also went from monthly international travel to being a stay-at-home-mom of 2. and, considering our illustrious hostess - the formidable drunken housewife, has cornered the market on the drunken ramblings of a woman slowly losing her mind, what could i possibly have left to offer? apparently a sentence with far too many commas, thats what.

my husband suggested i write about blow jobs. wow, thats a shocker. i am not sure if its a 'stick with what you know' or more wishful thinking on his part. [This reference is going to win the charming Lemonjuicer even more fans!]

so i give you the blog entry about absolutely nothing.


And in Lemonjuicer's honor, let us all make the daily drink a margarita and toast her digitized image. Cheers!


Freewheel said...

I'll get around to reading this post in a week or so, when I'm done staring at the picture.

hughman said...

oh lemonjuicer, poor poor you. there have to be some gays SOMEWHERE out there! i'll have a drink for your plight and am impressed that for nothing to blog about, you managed to be so amusing!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed the title of the previous entry, following on the heals of yours. Not that I do, not that I even wrote that...shit I'm in trouble now! (Honest dear, one of the cats must have done it!)
Oh wait, I can sign this anonymously!

the Drunken Housewife said...

I don't mind anyone dreaming about Lemonjuicer's rack; go to it! I am fortunate to have been blessed in that regard myself, and I've never had a moment of jealousy of another woman's fine rack. We mammarily-blessed sisters can have some solidarity together; we can throw back our shoulders and shake our natural endowments in a moment of proud abandon. (I can imagine me, Lemonjuicer, Jack's Raging Mommy, and our commentator Tammy in Vt. and various other well-endowed, hard-drinking readers doing this in a bar, and hopefully someone would be present to document the occasion, but not too well. One of the other mommies from my old preschool has pictures of me flashing my middle-aged rack at a Mommies' Night Out).