Tuesday, August 08, 2006

the husband's getting out on parole

Our forecast here is for increasing crankiness, skyrocketing on Saturday night, when we expect children to be snapping at each other and their mother breaking down, possibly so far as to say, "Jesus fucking Christ, will you children give me a break??" Why? The husband's going off for a long weekend in Chicago, to attend a faux wedding.

Why do I say faux wedding? Because the couple in question got married a year ago at a quiet, city hall ceremony, and now they regret not having had a big wedding (my bitchy take is that they regret not reaping in a ton of presents). So they registered at all the expensive stores, rented a venue, had some invitations engraved, and they're going through all the steps, although they've been married for over a year. I find this irritating. Additionally, since our funds are limited these days, I would have preferred to have attended my cousin's wedding in Maine, which is a first wedding. My cousin, who is bipolar and has had a rough childhood, never expected to find love, and when her fiance proposed to her, she demanded that they have a long engagement because she expected him to break it off. So, of course, the whole family is thrilled for her that she is marrying someone who really loves her and who is there for her, despite her feelings of not being lovable enough. But my husband asked that for his birthday, he get to go to Chicago for this "wedding", and I'm a sucker for him, so I agreed that he would go, even though I'm not making it to my cousin's wedding.

I was feeling okay about this until my husband casually showed me an email about the bachelor party, which is evidently going to be one of those uber-traditional ones with a hired stripper and lots of liquor. Ugh. I got rather pissy about this. Let's just say that my husband has a couple of old friends who don't like me, the woman who ruined all their fun by tying down their carefree bachelor friend and saddling him with a mortgage and children (hey, it was all his idea!). I explained to the old spouse that I would have no problem with his sleazing around here in town with friends who know and like me, because then I could feel comfortable that the sleazing would go right up to a certain line and no further. But sleazing around far away from home, with friends who would instead be egging him on and pressuring him to sleaze it up more? Not a nice thought for me. Am I going to ask him not to go? Hell, no. He's a grown-up. I'm not his boss. I'm just not going to like it. He suggested that he pressure another friend to go to the wedding, who also lives here and is my friend as well, for my peace of mind, but I pointed out that this particular friend is an out-of-control alcoholic who nearly set our house on fire when drunk, and hence not a reliable, upstanding companion.

I feel awkward admitting that I even had an issue with this. In my social milieu, there are people with open marriages, people who profess polyamory, and in general a certain amount of tolerance for risque behavior. It seems old-fashioned of me to get riled over this.

Oh, well. So I will be alone for days with the crabby, battling children (who have low-grade fevers today, making us all housebound and supercranky), while the husband's off in another time zone playing poker, smoking, drinking, and cavorting with strippers. Happy birthday, darling spouse.

1 comment:

Susan said...

It's wedding weekend here too. Traveling to a friend of DH's "wedding". They actually got married in Italy a few weeks ago, but are having a big party at her parents house. That in itself doesn't bother me. But....

They have been living together for 5 years. They are on their 2nd home that they've owned together. They are registered at Macy's and Williams Sonoma, all for high-end kitchen gear, towels, and sheets. The kind of stuff that is so high-end I would never buy it for myself. (It's not even china, crystal, or silver, which I could understand.) Oh, or they also suggest gift cards to Best Buy and some camera store.

It's out of control, this wedding stuff. I guess Saturday we're going to have to find some gift before the "wedding".

You're stronger than me. If my DH told me he was going to that kind of bachelor party, I'd say no way!