Friday, May 02, 2008

an extremely special contest

You may be wondering, "So, what happened to the Second, Possibly Annual, Readers' Photo Contest"? The answer is that we got a couple of requests for extensions, and seeing as how we're rather slothful here, we granted them. Also, it's been a tough decision this time around. We will announce the winners over the weekend.

But! Why wait a second longer to start the long-awaited NAME HOKGARDNER'S BABY CONTEST!!!! Why, indeed (we'd hate for poor Hokgardner to have her nameless baby before we get around to starting the contest).

Our dear commenter Hokgardner is expecting a child, but seeing as how this is child #4, she and her husband have run out of names. They have decided not to determine the gender ahead of time, doubling their work in choosing prospective names. So we will here enlist the readers to solve Hokgardner's problem.

Grand prize: actually naming a baby. (Please note that just like on "Project Runway" where they say, "The winning design may be part of Macy's fall collection", the winning names may or may not be used). Imagine the bragging rights from this: you can swivel neatly on your stool, turning to the next barfly, and say truthfully, "I named a baby in Texas once."

Runner-up prizes: right to use this space for a rant or reflection of your choice, unedited (but I reserve the right to mock) or the right to commandeer me to write about the topic of your choice.

The other children are named Lily, Ella, and Campbell. There is a general sentiment that perhaps the letter L has been used enough and should not dominate the next (and probably final) child's name. The parents, as you may have surmised, favor traditional names and do not particularly care for creative spelling. That said, the expectant mother loves the name "Tallulah", but Mr. Hokgardner has refused to give his consent.

Also, think about the initials. The last name begins with G, so let us wasteth not our time proposing names such as Penelope Ingrid and Franklin Allen.

How to enter: post your suggested names in comments to this post. Enter as many times as you like. Eventually I will call a halt, and after Hokgardner and Mr. Hokgardner have conferred, we'll declare some winners.


hughman said...

Beaulah or Townsend. This is only my initial response.

hughman said...

second choice - Eve or Eliott, Elliott is very literary.

hughman said...

Agness and Justin. I'm here all week, try the mearloaf!

hughman said...

Stella and Prentiss.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Honey, you're neglecting the middle names! for maximum impact, you simply must propose first and middle names which flow together.

nan said...

Occasional lurker here (love your site) and infrequent commenter - but who can resist a baby name contest? Not I!

My first thoughts for a girl's name:
Phoebe Elise
Kathlyn Anne

for a boy:
Brian Charles
Eli Jonathan

Captain Steve said...

Alexis Kiera
Stella Genevieve
Adelaide Margaret

Evan John
Oscar Samuel
Donovan Theodore

I attempted to avoid L's, but I love the name Stella. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

how many syllables does the last name have?

hokgardner said...

I'll give away the last name - it's Gardner.

Some comments so far - Stella is a little too close to Ella. The poor girls would never know to whom I was speaking.

I'll keep watching all the suggestions. I'm loving them so far!


Pallas said...

I'll give away my Girl's Name that I never got to use.


My reasons for choosing that name were as follows:

(a) She got deNIED her props in history

(b) It passes the Supreme Court Justice test (All Rise for Judge blahblah!)

(c) Also passes the hollering test (MagdaLENE! Git in here NOW!)

(d) At the "I wanna blend" stage of life, she can be Maggie.

(e) At the "I'm an INDIVIDUAL, Mother!" stage she can be Magdalene and wear a lot of black. Or whatever they're doing by then.

I am, however, dubious about the harmonics of "Magdalene Gardner." Just not sure. Does it sing?

In any case, it's yours for the taking, since my future naming opportunities are limited to cats. Though that's a GREAT name for a cat, isn't it? Could we both use it?



hughman said...

ok, i stand corrrected.

Eve Agness Gardner
Emile Beaulah Gardner
Eliott Justin Gardner
Walter Townsend Gardner

ps. i LOVE the name Eve Gardner. it sounds like a 40's movie star.

hughman said...

Meryl Brigette Gardner.

hughman said...

Samantha Heidi Gardner.

Lee said...

Zari Elizabeth

Owen Jacob

Silliyak said...

Letitia Elizabeth

Anonymous said...

As the grandmother, I LOVE Eve Gardner!!!

Keeffer said...

as the aunt, who may or may not have children, i've claimed the name evelyn. and if i have a girl named evelyn, i will call her evie, and eve and evie are too close, so eve is out of the running.

Silliyak said...

For a boy
Michael Yasser

M.Y. Gardner

I like it!

Carol Ann said...

Aubra Lynn for a girl.
Douglas John for a boy.

hughman said...

yay grandma!!

and keefer, you say you may not even have a kid! let alone a girl! there are lots of other names out there and we can have a contest for you when and if the time comes!

Missy said...

Gillian Hope Gardner

Lydia Jane Gardner

Mallory Elizabeth Gardner

Molly Elizabeth Gardner

Charles Alec Gardner

William Paul Gardner

Kendall Blake Gardner

I think middle name should be whatever family name one wants to use that not having the entire Gardner family history was a handicap for me. Are there any names at all the hokgardners would like for middle names from their family history?

the Drunken Housewife said...

Dearest Auntie,

With all due respect, I must cajole you to let "Eve Gardner" be a contestant (it really does have a ring to it, doesn't it?). Why? It's so speculative that you might name a daughter that, that it seems, well, a bit harsh to claim the name overly vigorishly. First, you may not have children. Next, if you do, you may have only boys. Thirdly, if you give them their father's last name, he may have a name which clashes with "Evelyn" (like "Evenson", "Everly", "Lynley", etc.. etc...). Fourthly, as my own experience has shown, you cannot control a child's nickname. You can't expect that this hypothetical "Evelyn" will truly answer to "Evie." (My own "Lucy" refused to answer to "Lucy" for years. We know a "Katherine" expected by her mother to be "Katie" who insists upon "Kate." We know a "Katelyn" who won't take her mother-assigned nickname, also....) Next, it would be adorable if there were cousins with similar nicknames, not risible or disgusting. It might create a special cousinly bond. Finally, I did have a beloved great aunt Evelyn, and she was never called "Evie." I think she would have fallen over if she'd been called that.

So, please, my darling, let "Eve" be in contention. It's truly lovely. And there's enough joy in the names "Evelyn" and "Eve" to go around; a family can't have too many of those.

the Drunken Housewife said...

And a few offerings of my own:

Jade Iris Gardner
Henry Jackson Gardner

Alison Joan Gardner (AJ is a great nickname!)
Aaron James Gardner (again with the AJ theme)

hughman said...

no fair, DH!! you don't get to be in the contest!


the Drunken Housewife said...

But I can't resist! Besides, you're in the lead for Best Girl's Name, I think (unless Hokgardner's sister manages to get your entry withdrawn through her prior estoppel argument).

hughman said...

i'm calling lucy! you can't compete in your own contest! duh!


the Drunken Housewife said...


hughman said...

well you should;ve thought of that before.

sfkatya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sfkatya said...

Aurora Lorelai

Maurice Nathaniel

hokgardner said...

Oh Hughman and DH, you have no idea of the wrath of Keeffer that you may have incurred!

I'm loving reading the suggestions, especially since some are names I'd never have come up with on my own. As soon as husband wakes from his vicodin haze (he broke his foot last week), I'll start running some past him. Or maybe, I'll do it now while he's slightly impaired. He might be more liable to give consent.

Epiphany said...

I'm gonna cheat, and just throw out a bunch of names, not doing a combo of first and middle names....




And just think! As an extra added bonus, if you choose one of my names, I would actually get to meet the child I named (being as we both live in Austin, and all...)

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

You don't want me naming a baby. I named myself Chlamydia Fitzpooperson today. I didn't even give myself a middle name...lord help us.

Good thing my husband named my children.

Anonymous said...

Georgette Gardner

(pick your own middle name)

Julian James Gardner

Anonymous said...

girl or boy - porter.

Missy said...

Olivia Anne Gardner

Haley Joy Gardner

Cady Elizabeth Gardner (DH, you know why I put that in)

Also, I'm using Elizabeth a lot because of the Elisabet Ney connection, the Hokgardners living in Austin and all--she was a German sculptor who broke barriers back in the last century, and sculpted several statutes in the Capital, her studio home was in Austin...It's a lot easier to work in that say, Ladybird...

Kyle Travis Gardnern

Kimberly Jane Gardner

Feedback, Hokgardners?

hughman said...

stephanie ellen gardner
emiiy caroll gardner

just because i'm tired of all the weird names.

Anonymous said...

Emerson Blake
Grace Elizabeth (and she can be called gigi)
Jean Anne
Vincent Jacob

Anonymous said...

Alana Kay Gardner
Eva Elizabeth Gardner
Patricia Eileen Gardner

Michael Thomas Gardner
Raymond Michael Gardner
Ronald Mitchell Gardner

kajunchick said...

I found your blog through ehell and thought I'd throw my two cents in.

Tabitha Rose (similar to Tallulah, and they already have a Lily)

Jackson Blaine
Ethan Blaine

Leslie said...

I'm a recent lurker on your site. This is too fun . . . I must join in. I tried repeatedly commenting on the weekend but my computer was being a beast. So my suggestions seem prescient:

Evelyn (Evie or Eve) Reece Gardner

Samuel Ross Gardner

Benjamin (I love Benji for a little boy) Nicholas Gardner
Claire Marlee Gardner (or Marley)

Ruby Ann Gardner

RedheadwithAttitude said...

Another EHell linker!

How about these:

Camille Marie G (Millie or Cammie)
Daphne Agnes G


Frederick Louis G (Fred or Freddie)
Edward George (Ed, Ted or (T)Eddie)

Missy said...

Edwin Blake Gardner

Emily Blaine Gardner

Malcom Ian Gardner

Robert Mark Gardner

Cassie Lilly Mae Gardner (okay, that was my husband's grandmother's name)

How'm I doin?

Memarie Lane said...

For a girl:


No clue on boys' names.

Missy said...

Allison Grace Gardner

Ethan James Gardner

Grant Allen Gardner

hokgardner said...

This is so much fun! There are so many names out there that I never thought of.

Here are some initial top picks:

Elizabeth (if Campbell had been a girl, he would have been Elizabeth)

The boy names are harder. None have jumped out at me, but here are a few that have at least hopped out there:

Henry (and we could call him Hank)
Jackson (I once worked with a Jackson, one of the kindest, gentlest men I ever knew)
William (but we have a little friend named William)

I'll be presenting a list to Mr. HOK soon to see if he agrees to any. Keep the names coming!

Leslie said...

Duncan Ray Gardner
Sebastian Dale Gardner
Nathaniel Frank Gardner

Sorry, having trouble with a couple of middle names. I was trying for a literary streak here.

Memarie Lane said...

FYI Emerson is becoming quite common as a girls' name. Very sad for us, we considered it for our SON, as it is a family name. But it is becoming more and more popular for girls, with nn of Emmie.

Anonymous said...

My neice that was born in August is named Emersona nd goes by Emmy.

My Suggestions:

Riley Elizabeth
Kamryn Elizabeth

Sawyer Nicholas

Silliyak said...

Raoul Andrew

Da Ragman!

Anonymous said...

Claire Olivia Yes, I know the initials would spell out COG, but they were the names of my two favorite dolls from childhood, who are as yet waiting a grandchild.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Claudia Gardner (I think that is elegant and dignified for an adult -- "Senator Claudia Gardner" as a good ring -- but also a lovely name for a little girl)

Ian Gardner
Owen Gardner (has a solid, old-fashioned ring but not too dated)

Anonymous said...

Stella Marie Gardner

Frederick Michael Gardner

no idea where they came from!! Just seemed to fit well.

the Drunken Housewife said...

I love the names Leo and Otto.

Anonymous said...

I've never named a human, but I think an "l" should be included somewhere in the first name. The other children all have one. While it wouldn't be as noticeable as Jean, Jason, Josh, and Bob, #4 could feel like an afterthought or mistake.

alovelymadness said...

Ralph Marie Gardner

Chester Brown Gardner

Stanley Brice Gardner

Ima Green Gardner (sheesh lol)