Thursday, November 02, 2006

ups and downs

So the husband and I have roughly patched things up from our big fight last Sunday, and we're cordial, albeit not yet back to our normal adorable selves. It was our biggest fight of the year; I can't remember any other real argument we've had in 2006. However, the forecast is for increased marital distance, with a likelihood of serious storms and fits. Why? His mother is due in tomorrow afternoon for a visit. I'm not sure how long she is staying or whether she's staying here or at a hotel; the husband prefers to be vague about these things. Of course, I'm out of the planning loop (although he always asks me before he okays a visit with her). The mother-in-law avoids calling our home, out of fear, I guess, that I might answer the phone. She prefers to conduct her conversations with the husband on his celphone at times when he is most likely to be away from the home and hence the wife.

I can't believe we're about to observe our 8th wedding anniversary, and his mother will be here, so we probably won't be on speaking terms. We'll probably just be on glaring terms. Maybe we'll manage to limp out the visit without ceasing civilities, but that would be unusual. Usually by day two of her visits, I'm pondering why on earth it seemed like a good idea to marry into this family and what possessed me to carry on this genetic line when obviously it should have been allowed to peter out. That's really not the frame of mind I'd like for the 8th anniversary, which is very important to me.

Why is this a significant anniversary? Because I filed for divorce from Husband 1.0, the Scotch-Drinking Husband, in the 7th year of our marriage, and that is the most common year for getting a divorce (it turns out the "seven year itch" is not fictional). This means this is the alpha marriage in my life, the most significant one (although of course it was more important from the moment we had our first child together). That means a lot to me, and I'd like to be on speaking terms with the husband so I can celebrate it.

5 comments:

2amsomewhere said...

Sorry to hear that times are still trying. As you know from my blog, I'm not exactly an expert at dealing effectively with marital conflict, so I'll keep my trap shut.

I have something to bring out a chuckle, hopefully. Given your love the message/hate the messenger relationship with a certain outspoken advice radio talk show personality, you might find it amusing to learn she is now peddling her own talking action figure.

(planting tongue firmly in cheek) I wonder how many of these wind up being turned into voodoo dolls.

Zoe said...

I'm sorry you and Sober are not doing swimmingly, and that an in-law is landing. I will send you head-not-exploding vibes.

Susan said...

Oh No!!!! The dreaded MIL visit. I will be thinking about you this weekend. What a lousy way to spend your anniversary

janababy said...

I suggest you make great plans for NEXT weekend so you have something special to look forward to. I got a great pedicure yesterday and maybe you can do something like that while A. and the girls do something?

Don't forget -- order lots of take-out!

Janababy said...

Having a lovely chardonnay and hoping all is well! As my wonderful dad would say, "This too, shall pass!"