Wednesday, November 29, 2006

let's talk behind the husband's back (self-absorbed musings)

So, as we were preparing dinner tonight (read: I was cooking two elaborate gourmet dishes, darting around the kitchen at the speed of light, while guzzling Blanc de Noirs; the Sober Husband peeled some potatoes, but got distracted by taking a work call, making a note to himself, and sending an email), I asked what I believed was a rhetorical question: "So, did you read my blog the last couple of days?" This little conversation starter was intended to kick off a discussion of primal mothering scandals and my discovery that, like me, there are HUNDREDS of people out there around the globe who are still, six years or so after her fall from primal mothering grace, obsessed with Jennifer "Mango Mama" van Laanen Smit (I say this because since I shared my memories of her, suddenly hundreds of people running Google searches for "mango mama controversy" and "where is Jennifer van Laanen mango mama" are landing on this blog, and I suspect 99.9% of them are disappointed by their snarky find, having hoped instead that Mango Mama would have ditched her lover, reconciled with her husband, had another unassisted childbirth in a returnable Rubbermaid tub, and was living the life of Waldorfian, vegan ecstasy in Hawaii).

That discussion was derailed when, shocked (remember, I am somewhat self-absorbed) I heard the husband say, "Um, no."

"When was the last time you read my blog?"

"A few weeks ago?"

"WHAT?? You aren't a fan?"

"Well, of course I'm a fan. I don't have to read it. I live your blog."

"But" (pouting to the extent one can while stirring, chopping, crushing, and sauteing are occurring simultaneously) "there are other men out there who read me EVERY DAY. They check it several times a day!" (Incidentally the core readership of this blog is primarily male, which interests me because when I started it, I thought it was going to be Another One Of Those Mommy Blogs. I put the blog on a couple of mommy blog rings, figuring it would fit in there, but that was foolish of me).

The husband assumed a lofty tone. "Those men glean what falls through my fingers onto the floor."

I don't think I broke my resolution not to roll my eyes at the Sober Husband, but the only thing which kept that resolution intact was that my eyes were being used to monitor the state of my pans.


Freewheel said...

I guess it's not surprising that a drunken housewife would have a male fan club.

FWIW, my wife never reads my blog. She says she doesn't want to inhibit my blogging. I think she's avoiding my bike-related rants.

Anonymous said...

as one of your (apparently) many male fans (this one of the gay variety), i want to thank the sober husband for holding his fingers so widely apart that all of this great stuff falls through.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Don't worry, guys, I'm not scouting readers for Husband 3.0. The most I would try to weasel out of a reader would be a round of drinks (Hughman, I live in the Castro, so we could boywatch together if we ever went for drinks in my neighborhood).

Anonymous said...

ooooo... we could boywatch and drink champagne and dish everyone's outfit! (tho i live in LA.)

still, i would be SO THERE! :)

nikki said...

looks like Hughman is looking for BFFI 3.0 for sure. PPM!

houswife, I have to say that Hughman introduced me to you and I am loving it!
Keep it up!

2amsomewhere said...

Congratulations, you've been tagged with a meme.

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