Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Text messages

I often text my husband during the day. I dislike talking on the phone, and I hate to disrupt him, so I find email or text messages are an easy way for me to communicate (read: whine, beg or command).

I thought I'd browse through some old text messages I've sent him, and here's an array of them:

10/04 children screamed guts out at dr's. I feel resentful.
I feel I have to do too much of the hard, sucky parenting.


we're home early, no capoeira
I went to get Iris early, but she had a SKIRT on, so no capoeira.
on way home, get fizzy water AND lemons, please LOVE*

*obviously cocktails were on my mind.

10/04 pizza coming, good workday, Goose reunited with fave baby**

**So nice to read a happy one! We lost my toddler's favorite doll, and I searched for literally miles for it and recovered it. "Good workday" means that I worked a shift at Iris's co-op preschool without issues.

But oh no: six days later

burnt out on constantly repeating self, ferrying them, feeding them

And later that day, unwarranted optimism:

can you call at 4? I have insane fantasy we may nap, not very likely though

In my world, it's easier to text the husband than set the alarm clock.

please duck out at first opportunity
Lucy being huge pain, awful mess, my stomach hurts

Now here's a complete change of tone the next day:

hello, I would like to have sex with you. Love, your wife.


problem: how to make Iris dinner while holding Goose???
Goose v. sick all p.m., fussy clingy unhappy fever

And the husband can get text-happy when he's sitting in a long co-op preschool meeting. Here are my responses to some of his texts sent while he endured a lengthy debate as to whether the preschoolers would be allowed to bring energy bars in their lunches. Sadly, time has not preserved his side of this conversation:

did they mention Envirokids Rice snack bars?

no refined sugar.

what's so silly is they allow red meat (proven carcinogen).

Sugar is from a plant. It is not carcinogenic.

You can even buy orgnanic sugar.

I'll give you a blowjob if you argue strenuously pro sugar.


hurry home, lucy driving me mad
constantly slamming doors, rough w/kittens, kicking Iris

Lucy very fussy, feverish, extremely high maintenance.
Lucy time out, threw cat from bunkie top***

*** "bunkie" is the name given by Iris to the girls' bunk beds.

have you heard fr plumbers? ok for me to take Lola playground?

"No, MY daddy. DADDY. I NEED DADDY."-LOLA "My daddy." - Iya


7/05 This may be my favorite one ever:

Iris sez you care more about your sleep than Harry Potter.

1 red onion; 2 ripe avocadoes; 2 lg mangoes; 2 jalapenos, 1 lime, cilantro; chips
also milk & some mac & cheese mix thanks

That last text would have been one of the few which pleased the recipient, signaling the imminent preparation of his favorite salsa.

alert: I need to work at Burke's library Mon 12-2
so Lola needs ride to preschool. I can pick Lola up.
also, they have pediatrician Tues. pm after Burke's pick-up
This concludes our emergency calendar update broadcast.

As the day begins, I'm crisp and businesslike:

garbage disposal beyond repair.
Dennis will replace it next Tuesday.

Two hours later:
can you please get milk on way home? thanks, love
Rose here; children holding "butt parade"

But by 6:33 p.m., my nerves are fraying:




big one is feverish, little one is cranky; wish you were here

please call the children.

Lola was upset you weren't here to meet with Jill
she wanted you, not me, to go over the homework w/Jill

Jill is Lola's speech therapist.

children driving me frigging insane
I haven't been this tired since Lola was newborn.

children in bed (earlier than last night)

New magazine was under bunkie.
All hail wife, queen of finders.


Spill The Beans said...

heh. I love this. Boyfriend works as a chef and we communicate primarily by text during work hours and in the evening. I've never thought to keep all of them. I should, they're hilarious at times.

So are yours. :)

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