Today I saw the specialist, a doctor whose practice is devoted to fibroid tumors, and I liked her a lot. She discussed my ultrasound results, gave me a physical exam, and covered the various options, and we made a plan. I will have a hysterectomy on "the first available date", which will most likely not be until late January or even February.
I feel so relieved. The Sober Husband was just dismayed and depressed sounding when I called him to fill him in, but he kept to his prior commitment not to second guess me or my medical advisor of choice (and I am so glad to finally have a doctor handling this whom I like and respect).
was the SH hoping for another child? i'd think he'd be glad you're finding relief. so glad this doc sounds better. you should tell her how your loyal readers around the world are counting on her.
He's such a wimp about medical things... plus he will have to man up & take care of me. I guess that was what it was. I'd been preparing him for it.
I asked him why he was being so upset, and he said, "The death of it bothers me." Oy vey. My reaction is, "Don't turn MY health crisis into YOUR personal drama." When YOU need major surgery, then it will be about YOU, but not until then. Also, he told me just last month, unsolicited, that we couldn't afford any more children.
"the death of it bothers me" WTF? are you married to sylvia plath?
I don't know, but that remark fell on ears which refused to get involved in his angst. I'm going to have major abdominal surgery, and my spouse should be comforting and supporting me, not vice versa. He did make a follow-up remark about me not understanding him, and I just out right ignored that. I think that overall I am a supportive and caring spouse who gets involved in his troubles, but not when they are some kind of weirdness about MY IMPENDING MAJOR SURGERY.
I had my female medical suckage and my own moment of dealing with the anxious husband. I'm in the office of THE ovarian cancer surgeon for all of Kaiser Northern California and we are discussing upcoming surgery. I knew I had to have one ovary out, and he recommended having both. As he said to me, "If I have to go in there again, I'm not going to be happy camper. Scar tissue, etc. makes it twice as hard." Implying that it's hard enough. Of course, no one said, "YOU HAVE FOURTH STAGE OVARIAN CANCER!" which I didn't. But I did have such horrible massing from endo that they thought I had ovarian cancer.
Anyway, I'm staring at a wall (A WALL!) of thank-you cards from his former patients, and I said flat out, "I'll sign. Take it all out." My husband VISIBLY paled and then said in a weak voice, just shy of a whimper, "Are you sure? What about just one ovary." Of course, the doctor, who, I'm sure, goes through this scenario ten times a week, piped up, "Reduces your chances of ovarian cancer to nil." I looked again at all those thank-you cards. "How will this affect my sex life if I have both out?" I asked. He shrugged. "Half have sexual dysfunction, half don't. If you do, we can deal with it."
I'm a glass-half full sort of woman, so I thought, "Nope, not going to have any problems." And I haven't. You probably won't have to have the whole shebang like I did, but you know? Not having pain and discomfort is an effing godsend. Talk about aphrodisiac! My liver numbers are crap because of all the Motrin I ate over the years to deal with the pain, so I say to SH" "DEAL, DUDE!"
Yahoo. I'm so glad a solution seems in sight for you. My sister had the same surgery a few years ago and after the recovery period has been pain-free and much better off.
DH, sorry I haven't been reading and commenting of late (that little thing called life has been a bit crazy of late). I'm so sorry to hear that you're going to be having this icky surgery, but it sounds as though it is necessary. I wish I lived in the area so I could lend a hand while you are recovering. Please let me know if there is anything I *can* do to help from afar (send you new music or books, perhaps?).
Post a Comment