Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Iris Uber Alles writes

Every Tuesday Iris brings home a folder from school with some of her first grade class work for us to see. Yesterday's was a bonanza. Iris Uber Alles had been asked to write sentences using particular words correctly:

For "go", she wrote, "Go and do what I told you too!" Here, without question, is a child who is used to commanding.

For "went", it was "I went to school." (This was the sole dud in the group).

Do: "Do you know who I am?" I imagine this one being spoken in ringing tones with more than a little affront therein.

Did: "Did you do what I told you too do?" Bossing and nagging, a familiar combo.

The Sober Husband and I both had a good laugh over that one.

Then there were also some "morning messages", which I think the girls can take turns reading at the morning circle time. Iris starts all hers with a breezy "Chao" (she went to Italy when she was two, and she will never let you forget it. I should teach her how to spell "ciao", though. She plans to move to Italy when she is 24, and she has agreed to let me come along on the condition that I do not bring Lola).

Here's one message:

"Chao 1B Did you take a bath so you would be clean today? Do you usually carry alot in your backPack? Have you been to Las Vegas? Las Vegas is kind of far away. Now I am done writting this morning message! Love, Iris"

More mysteriously, Iris wrote on another day, "Chao freinds, Sing in tune right in music. Did you know that we rule the school! If you have a pencil grip use it today. have a huge happy day! Are you going to look cute tomorrow Are they're many things like a tube in a tunnel? Love, Iris" She starts with a nagging command, veers into superficial fashion dither, but ends with a zen koan.

Yet another day, Iris wrote, "Chao Girls, can I tell you a story? Good, once there was a man named John who said. I did it because I wanted to buy somthing but then I found some of it and then I went to work. Love, Count Iris." Sounds like the story of poor Anton's life: and then he went to work, while Count Iris was free to scheme and command.


hughman said...

"Do you know who I am?"

ROFL. that is very scary. someone is going to make enemies with a lot of service people in the future!

the Drunken Housewife said...

You know it, Hughman, you know it. Sadly the child was not born into the grand circumstances her personality demands.

2amsomewhere said...

In light of hughman's comment, I hope that her most esteemed Drunkenness is adequately prepared to handle the "Do you know who I am?" situation properly. If not, has a collection of variations on a theme to help you develop your response.

nikki said...

from the first grade teacher in the group, I am totally cracking up over here!
Actually, she needs to meet Keilan, who the other day was reading a very boring story...

"I like the red hat. I like the green hat. I like the blue hat"
And ended the book with a deep, dramatic and powerful,
"BUM BUM BUM" when the kid in the picture had all hats on his head.
totally cracked me up.