Thursday, August 18, 2011

decisions, decisions

As lifetime members of Burning Man, the Sober Husband and I get two tickets every year. This year I'm giving his ticket to our friend N., who was on the fence about going to Burning Man until the event sold out. Then she realized she did want to run away from her responsibilities to pad around in the dust but she thought it was too late, and I was happy to be able to inform her that I still had the extra ticket.

However, people are getting more and more creative in their attempts to wheedle tickets out of those of us who have them. A very special offer has been passed along to me, for my consideration:
In exchange for your Burning Man ticket, I offer you the extraordinary experience of having your DNA activated to its full energetic potential, up to 24 strands, your youth and vitality chromosomes activated, your abundance gene activated, your death gene de-activated and reimprinted with the pattern of immortality, your enchantment gene activated (creates harmonious relationships with anyone and everyone you wish), and your manifestation gene activated (enhances ability to create instantaneously by the power of intention). I can also deactivate and repattern any limiting belief system that is keeping you from experiencing all of the love, joy, success, and goodness you desire. This will take 2 to 3 hours, and will be permanent.

I am not fooling around. Since I've learned to do these things and practiced them on myself, my life has accelerated like a rocketship. My perception of reality has deepened, broadened, and intensified for the better, and I have more energy and stamina than I ever imagined. The activation of our DNA is a scientifically proven thing, and is happening gradually planetwide, but with the consciously focused techniques that I practice, you can put yourself on the leading edge of human evolution.

I am happy to share my gifts with you in exchange for the extraordinary opportunity to experience the magical mystical field of manifestation on the playa. I think that's a pretty good trade, don't you?
Ah, decisions, decisions. Burning Man or DNA activated to its full energetic potential and death gene de-activated?


Boomhouser said...

Sorry, but my borg assimilation techniques are much superior. They give increased strength, visual acuity, and look cool at the same time.
Borg: Resistance is Futile

Silliyak said...

Might get better offers from your WOW compatriots?

the Drunken Housewife said...

Ha, they are all going, Silliyak. We're doing another Warcraft themed camp this year. I did most of the quest rewards, with the help of my unpaid dwarvish laborers.

Anonymous said...

Oh take a WoW stranger from a southern state /bats eyes. We can't tell you a darn thing about DNA, but considering going from a predominatly red state to Burning Man. I'm thinking WoW immersion is much more believable.

Anyway's enjoy your time, remember your sunscreen, and look after your hand, also don't forget to enjoy a sloe gin fizz now and again.

BTW, what realm and toon are you on nowadays?


Jen in VA said...

If she can do all that, why does she need to ask for a ticket? Can't she just show up at Burning Man and use her Jedi-like techniques to get someone to let her in??

the Drunken Housewife said...

Good point, Jen! Good point. If this person (whom I think is a man, but gender is not stated. I just assume it's a man because I've met so many guys who claim to have special knowledge or abilities or mystical psychic whateverness) really could do this stuff, he could go to to the Burning Man offices and offer to do this for the staff. The senior staff is getting up in years and could use a good DNA rejuvenation. Then when they were living rocket lives, they'd give him tickets in gratitude.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Caan, I've been playing on Earthen Ring under the name "Hassenpfeffr" (lvl 85 troll shaman). Please join me there! I would love to play with you again.

I started a gnome priest on Doomhammer but haven't done much with her. I started doing Cataclysm with Chlonnaa back on Drenden to see the alliance side of the new content, but I lost interest. Are you guys playing Cata?

Anonymous said...

I would think that he would just clone his own darn tickets.

I love trolls btw, I've tried a drawf shaman but not sure I like her. I have a 82 worgen druid I'm working on, but a blue troll druid is quite tempting.


the Drunken Housewife said...

If you come to Earthen Ring, Caan, I will level a druid with you. Trolls have bat form, which is very cool, but taurens are the classic druid... have to start after Labor Day, though!