Tuesday, May 03, 2011

in my car

My main duty is driving these days, driving the Sober Husband to the train station (with his new job, he takes the "Baby Bullet" commuter train down to Silicon Valley), driving the children home from school, driving here, driving there.

Yesterday in my car, the following things happened:

- one child spilled a Snapple all over the car;

- said child scolded another, younger child until the younger child was tearful. The offense drawing this scolding was "getting my stuff wet" -- relating to the Snapple the first child had spilled herself;

- a condescending husband turned the radio off in the middle of a really good song and made annoying remarks about how he needed to turn the radio off "because traffic was stressing" him and he "needed to keep an eye out" when he wasn't even driving;

- after radio is restored to its proper on position by the driver, husband makes condescending remarks about the song "Eff You" to wife. "I bet you didn't know this song was heavily censored";

- husband made loud, passive-aggressive remarks in a very self-righteous tone of voice about not being able to have a conversation "until Mommy turns the radio down";

- smaller child vomited all over self;

- after I made inquiries about how the small child feels, whether she has a fever, etc.., and the husband superiorly said it's clear "she's not sick; she just choked on something" when the child wasn't eating.

As I filled the tank with gas at that really grungy gas station in the Mission which gives a nine cent discount for cash, I contemplated walking away from the car and checking into a bar and then a hotel. However, I have a litter of tiny, bottlefed kittens and Lord knows none of these music haters, Snapple-spilling scolders, and vomiters would have managed to make a bottle of kitten formula. Tiny lives hung in the balance. I got back into the car of passive aggression, spilled Snapple, and vomit to drive back home to feed the mewling babies.


Carroll said...

Oh, DH -- these are the posts I wish I had written on the blog I didn't have because the internet didn't even exist back when my life was like yours. (sigh)

Claire M. Johnson said...

I loathe my car for those very reasons. My sympathies.

Anonymous said...

enough about the mewling babies-
how are the kittens?

Silliyak said...

You might warn SH that parrot hickeys are...to be avoided.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Nice one, Anon!

Silliyak, the parrot leaves some little scratches but no hickeys, thankfully.

Missy said...

Just imagine yourself as a school bus driver.

eky said...

I only ever had a car of my own for the five years I spent in grad school, and for the most part, I hated it. Cars to me were nothing

the Drunken Housewife said...

Eky, I relate. i didn't even get a driver's license until the week before I turned 30. I didn't have a car of my own until I was pregnant with Lola. As an environmentalist, I was a big believer in mass transit. But then the day came when I had to carry sleeping toddler Iris, my stroller, my bag, and a bag of groceries down the steps of a MUNI bus, while I was in the third trimester. I felt like I'd ripped every ligament in my body. I went home and told the husband that I needed a car of my own.