Friday, April 29, 2011

awkward

Yesterday when I came downstairs for coffee, I saw that the green bird, the Amazon parrot who loves the Sober Husband and hates me, was clinging to the Sober Husband's finger with her beak while lying across his shoulder. "She won't let go of my finger," he said, demonstrating on how he tried to pull his hand away but the bird clenched it all the more tightly with her beak and one claw.

We both regarded the parrot. It was splayed across his shoulder, with a death clench on his finger, throbbing and making cooing noises. These noises built until the parrot appeared to reach a peak, after which she exhaustedly let go of his hand and slumped quietly on his shoulder.

An awkward silence filled the room. I turned to the coffeemaker without comment.

7 comments:

Carroll said...

Bwahahahahaaaaaa! Hands-down this wins "Post of the Week" award out of all the blogs I read!!

the Drunken Housewife said...

Thank you, sweetie!

Dread Pirate Davi said...

I will never look at a parrot the same again.

cybill said...

Oh man, that was FUNNY - thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Soon, she'll be plotting your death.

marketeer said...

Was he planning to go to work with the parrot attached to his finger if she didn't let go?

the Drunken Housewife said...

Dear Anon, last year when I had a severe ankle injury and was on crutches, the green parrot did try to take me out. Like a lion observing a lame zebra, she saw that her chance had come. She jumped on me a couple of times and attacked, but given our size difference, I just tried to shake her off and shouted, "GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME" until the husband came and pulled her off.

Nmitford, if he'd had to take her, he could have. One of his colleagues brings a macaw into the office regularly (a much better behaved bird than either of ours). But it didn't come to that.