Tuesday, May 17, 2011

depressed again

When my parrot, Pigwidgeon, was lost, I sunk into a deep morass of depression. I felt like such an incompetent and horrible person for having lost my poor, witless little bird. Even though we got little Piggle back again, thanks to the kindness of a complete stranger who saw her, tired and hungry, on a busy street in the Mission, I haven't been able to climb out of that funk.

To add to that, I have three little foster kittens right now (named "Elvis", "Pumpernickel", and "Jubjub" by the children), who are endlessly messy and noisy. I got them from my rescue before they could walk, when they needed to be bottlefed, and as a result I have become their mother. That means that, like a real mother, I have to bathe them and clean up their horrifying messes and listen to their crying. The noise can be relentless: the kittens set off the parrots, who then shriek and shriek.

And the sounds the parrots make are irritating to no end. Piggle has recently added to her meows and horrible-child-snuffling-up-snot noises with a disturbing and realistic gulping sound, like an unmannered child sucking down a chocolate milk furiously as though a Nazi-like parent were posed to snatch away the cup. The green parrot shouts, "Anton! Lola! Anton! Lola!", the gray parrot makes noisy snuffling and gulping noises, and the kittens cry, and meanwhile a person is trying to serve a civilized meal of fettuccine with asparagus in blue cheese sauce. It's truly nerve-wracking, and there's no one to blame other than myself for acquiring these noisy, noisy animals.

Both of the children have been going through rough patches as well. Thankfully the Sober Husband has perked up. He spent the last year in a funk himself, but his new job has rejuvenated him. It's nice that someone around here has some energy, although he expends a lot of it on nagging. He seems to feel that a person in a depressive state can get nagged right out of it, and he's not above calling in reinforcements. Over the weekend I caught Iris staring at me in a judgmental way. "What? What are you looking at me like that for?" I asked. "Daddy thinks you need some nagging," was the artless reply.


Claire M. Johnson said...

I'm so sympathetic. Have you thought about wearing ear plugs or noise-cancelling headphones when it gets too much? Because the one thing I've learned from my own horrible bout of depression was this feeling of being overwhelmed by minutia. That it threatened to suffocate me. Maybe if you had some aural peace, it might help, instead of feeling like you are being called in a hundred different directions. Truly, I understand how you feel. And the asparagus is lovely right now, isn't it?

Silliyak said...

Make a plan. E.g. Regular exercise, yoga, meditation, gardening, Adult Ed classes at a time when SH can watch the kids etc. Ceramics....art history...WALK!.....museums exhibits,movies. Git movin'

Read about depression and it,s treatment...

the Drunken Housewife said...

I actually have been exercising, Silliyak, you're absolutely right. I've gone to the gym a few times & have been walking.

CLaire, the asparagus is really good this year. I've been making one of my favorite foods ever over and over again, the fettuccine w/asparagus in a blue cheese sauce (and also just roasting the asparagus). I also made an asparagus soup a couple of times and an asp. risotto. I love asparagus so much.