"First thing tomorrow," nine year-old Iris announced angrily, "I'm going to turn myself in to an orphanage! I'm going to contact an orphanage! I cannot BEAR to be affiliated with Lucy any longer!" Iris went on about the comparative joys of living in an orphanage as opposed to residing in her current home with her little sister.
"You can't turn yourself in to an orphanage. You're not an orphan," I quibbled.
"I'll turn Lucy in to an orphanage!"
"Lucy's not an orphan, either."
"I'll MAKE her an orphan," Iris threatened.
I pointed out that this would require executing both parents, but Iris felt she could stay the course.
Children are such a joy.
Sleep with one eye open.
I think you should start introducing her to Blues music, some old deep south stuff. Maybe get her a guitar, Got dem old Lucille blues!
Ah the joy of sisterhood...I myself have three and when I was young there were so many times I would gladly have given them away- indeed I thought I could trade them like baseball cards at one point. "I'll give you my oldest sister for your two younger ones...No one would barter with me though. I now have two of my own little girls and though they get along well most of the time, there are those moments that I'm sure an orphanage has its appeal...
Lock your bedroom door. Just to be safe. If her head rotates, run.
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