Friday, December 07, 2012

the embarrassment

This year I'm co-teaching a class at Iris's school, where we read and discuss books.  Today the students were trying to guess the age of a character, a rather raddled and frizzled alcoholic who is described as wearing gold stiletto shoes.  This sparked a lively debate, as the description of the character's face, with its wrinkles, made the kids think she might be in her sixties, at least forties, but those gold stilettos... she had to be in her twenties to wear shoes like that.  Maaaaybe thirties at most, but then how would she be wrinkled?

I pointed out gently to the children that I am in my late forties, but I wear stiletto shoes.  They were bemused but soon thought they had me.  "Not gold ones!"

But I was not to be caught out that fast.  "I do have gold ones."

They were nonplussed.  I promised to bring the shoes to our next meeting to prove that a woman in her late forties could wear gold stilettos.

At home I shared this story.  Iris interrupted me at the point where I said, "I told them I wore stilettos."  Moaning, she said sadly, "You had to.  You had to say that.  When did you say that?  So embarrassing."

When I got to where I promised to bring my gold stilettos, Iris erupted.  "When you come into my place of residence, you have a responsibility!"

Perhaps not surprisingly the conversation turned to Iris's obsession, going away to a prestigious boarding school.

"Can I come visit you when you're at boarding school?" I asked.

Evasively Iris answered, "I don't think you'll want to come."

"Well, you'll come home for the summer."

Pensively Iris mused, "I wonder what I'll do for the summers, whether I'll want to come home."


Caroline said...

Have her come here to Phillips Exeter. Then you can stay with me for FREE! For as long as you like! HAHAHAHAHA!

the Drunken Housewife said...

That is actually her top choice, and YOU MAY BE SEEING ME. IN MY GOLD STILETTOS.

Ali Baba said...

Oh, Iris. ;)

GodsKid said...

Think she'll get in at Hogwarts? [Sorry -- I'm behind the times. I just read them last year, and watched the movies last month. I still think they're cool!]

Iris said...

I did not say that.

the Drunken Housewife said...

I wrote this right after it happens, and therefore it is as good as gold evidentially, as it falls under the hearsay exception of "past recollection recorded."

NonymousGoatsePants said...