Sunday, October 16, 2011

having a very hard time

I took in a litter of very small foster kittens, just barely three weeks old, and two of them have died. I sat up from two a.m. 'til six a.m. last night, being with the one named "Yertle" as she passed away. I gave her our last-chance-Lazarus kitten treatment, which consists of subcutaneous fluids, a hotpad, and some Karo syrup on her gums (and which really does work at times to pull a little kitten back from the brink of death), but I knew there really was no hope. I stayed by her side until it was all over, in case having me there was comforting. She had loved me, after all.

Lately it seems I can't get along with anyone and I can't keep my kittens alive. I'm having a very hard time focusing on the positive side in life.

I did drag the rest of the family down to the Occupy San Francisco march, as part of the 99% "National Day of Action", but the children, as always, wore their favorite and completely inappropriate footwear (Oprah flipflops for one and tiny, battered shoes long outgrown and replaced but repeatedly fished out of the trash for the other child), leading to multiple complaints of foot pain. The Sober Husband and I squabbled tiresomely about what the goals of the Occupy Wall Street movement are and whether anything was likely to be accomplished, and life seemed so dreary, full of hurting feet and little arguments.

4 comments:

J9 said...

Aw man - dead kittens totally are crap. Sad, and can't do anything about it. I like that you went to the occupy event, but jesus fucking christ - bad footwear, and arguments? I've had those days - and at some point, I turn inward, imagining everyone being crushed by my awesomeness - hey, it helps...

Janet said...

Sorry you are having such a hard time...just remember that you are doing a lot of good, even when it's hard to feel it.

marketeer said...

I'm sure you did all you could for the kittens -- rescue kittens can have a lot of problems that no amount of care can surmount.

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