Friday, December 26, 2008

the twittering pervert

The Sober Husband has been meaning to Twitter for ages. He started a Twitter account and sent out one and only one Twitter: "I have started to Twitter." Based upon that inauspicious debut, he already has scores of followers, despite months of silence. He feels he should Twitter because "everyone does it", and he shared with us some of the Twitters of his colleagues.

One of the programmers who reports to the Sober Husband Twitters in the voice of his puppy (or perhaps his girlfriend does, the co-owner of the very adorable young dog). The children were spurred into action by this, feeling that their personal cats deserved Twitters of their own (the family cat and Mommy's cats were not deemed Twitter-worthy). Six year-old Lola started a Twitter feed for Al, "Allofalbert", which has so far mostly chronicled his giardia infection and his feelings about taking his medication. Nine year-old Iris Uber Alles started "Frowsty" to share the glories of Frowst, our especially charismatic cat.

We have four laptops which can be found strewn about the home, and Iris Uber Alles is prone to using the nearest one and being casual about what identity is logged in at any given time. Therefore it was all too predictable that she'd use the Sober Husband's regular laptop to compose a Twitter for fluffy Frowst, and that my husband would awaken on Christmas morning to discover that after months of silence, he'd sent out his second Twitter:

"I'm lying on my owner's bed, with my legs in the air, waiting for attention."

I laughed and laughed. "They're all going to think you're into SM." I tried to think of a more embarrassing cat twitter the children could have sent out under his name on this account-- which was intended for professional networking-- with no success. Even the messages about giardia would have been less embarrassing.

27 comments:

hughman said...

ROFLMAO!!!

this made me laugh so hard Polly looked up at me with a WTF face. such a perfect story.

Crazy Mo said...

BWWWAAAHAAA!!!

AnonymousGoatsePants said...

Maybe you ought to obscure the twit some more than you did. 30 seconds of Googling completely outs your hubby.

Melissa said...

That only reaffirms our thoughts about Twittering. I'd rather read the cat's thoughts, any day!

I'm going to see if it's true that 30 seconds of Googling outs the Sober Husband.

I bet not.

the Drunken Housewife said...

We've set the marital parameters already: our limit is that someone googling him (who starts from knowing him) can't find the blog. The other way is okay. Some of his colleagues actually read the blog from time and again.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Ha, he read my blog post and wondered why I didn't link to his twitter account. But thank you nonetheless, doorstopless GoastsePants.

M said...

LOL!

I will say, he must be an exceptionally well-behaved submissive, to be permitted to have his hands free to twitter while his legs are in the air!

Marketeer said...

That was really funny.

hughman said...

i found anton's twitter via iris's in about 10 seconds so no biggy there. sadly, hers was more interesting.

on the bright side, gigs up "doggyo"!

snowqueen said...

that was the best laugh I've had in ages - I couldn't read it out to the Prince without creasing up.

Jessielme said...

Oh no! I really did laugh out loud at this one! I'll have to read this post to my husband when he gets home.

the Drunken Housewife said...

BTW welcome to the blog, Jessielme! I read your lovely comment on the other page (but this one was easier to get to to reply). i will check out your blog!

angelatunner said...

I am just killing myself with laughter, I nearly fell off my chair!!

I see you also have a food related Blog. Love what you write about and how you write. I was wondering if you’d like to do a review of my cookbook ‘Simply Summer’ on your Blog. If yes, I can send you an eBook copy. I really like your ideas so some feedback on the book would be great.

Best regards,
Angela

Kerri said...

This is so hilarious, thanks for sharing. I bet your husband got a lot more followers after that.

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