My niece, who has a toddler and is pregnant again already by a different guy, has a bedraggled stuffed animal which is still a security object for her. "Oh, he goes everywhere," she said as she packed up the nearly furless dog. "I'm the only twenty year-old that still has to have a stuffed animal with her. I've had him since I was in the first grade."
I felt sad that she didn't bring any stuffed animals or toys to speak of along for her little boy (he did have a little pillow with a monkey face on it and one little toy car). I wondered also if she brings this stuffed dog along on sleepovers with her boyfriends.
There should be a rule that if someone is still actively using a stuffed animal as a security object, she should be banned from procreating.
Disagree! I've got a bear that I've had since I was 3, that sleeps on the bed with us, functioning as a small, nearly hairless, substitute pillow. But I don't take him on trips (might lose him) so he stays home. Of course... there aren't any kids yet... so perhaps I'm not entirely qualified to protest.
I have a blankie, but I'm 27 and still think I'm too young to have offspring. I think I agree. I'm just not sure that if I ever actually do have mini-mes that I'm going to give up the blankie.
Just a thought Capt S, you MIGHT have to give up the blankie to HAVE mini-mes.
I think that still having your childhood security object stored or displayed in your house isn't grounds to ban you from procreating. but having any kind of a relationship with it should be. (No talking with it, traveling with it, or using it for security to escape anxiety)
To clarify: I'm not saying you should throw away your blankies or special fuzzy friends. Just maaaaaybe that if you still need to take them on overnight trips, it might be a good idea to keep up with your birth control. I would further state that I think that you shouldn't have kids until you're prepared to shlep more stuff for them on trips than for yourself.
I'm 33 and I still sleep with the teddy bear my DH gave me for Christmas the first year we were dating (I was 15). That said, I agree with you 100%. I do take my bear if I'm going to be gone for more than 2 or 3 nights, but that's just because I've grown so damn accustomed to sleeping with him that I have to substitute with a sweatshirt or small pillow if I leave him at home. I'm pretty OCD about my sleep conditions and more than 2 nights of me not sleeping isn't good for anybody.
But yeah, most of the time my bear stays home because there isn't room for him after I've packed the bears, blankies, pillows, clothes and reading/coloring stuff for my 3 munchkins.
Okay I have been keeping up on this blog for a little while and honestly I'm tired of you blasting the two of us over the past week. Your niece didn't bring much of her kid's toys because you said you had plenty and we didn't want to overload everything. She also brought the animal because it remind her of when our family was whole and staying with you is like staying with strangers.
I've often felt the world would be improved by me acting as a dictator. I'd immediately implement a plan of norplanting stupid people. I do think I took my comfort animal to college, though, in hindsight.
It would have been nicer if you'd said that to me in person, rather than waiting until you were gone. Then we could have had a possibly meaningful conversation. Having a relationship is a two way street, and I've tried with you guys. Incidentally I note that if you're judging my performance as aunt, your mother has never even met her nieces.
S, it might feel like being blasted to you, but to the audience it sounds like your aunt greatly believes in your potential--she just feels like you're wasting opportunities.
Your sister, however, has been throughly keelhauled.
to the nephew -
frankly, i don't think this is you. if you were the "real" nephew, you sound too self-absorbed to actually delve into this blog. why? because the DH has been an incredible writer who's touched many with her insight into the lives of those she loves. therefore, her writings about you are most likely not off the mark.
if it is you, somehow, and you've decided to venture out of Myspace and your temporary girlfriends, then take this as a heads-up. the DH has you pawned. use the info and try to better yourself and perhaps contribute to your sister rather than whine and complain about the help and outreach someone offers you.
you may feel like a stranger, but that is no one's fault but your own. what, indeed, have you brought to the table?
ooooo family drama!
anyway i had to chime in to say that i never had any kind of security object past 5 years of age UNTIL i gave birth to my son. the need to hold his little body against mine during sleep was so overpowering, yet unattainable (because i couldn't physically sleep when he was in my arms) that i had to get a snuggly mouse to cuddle. my arms used to just ache to hold him. so now, coming up on his 1 year birthday i find i am STILL snuggling this stupid mouse because i've become so damn attached to him & yes, its shameful to admit, i do bring him on trips. although i also bring WAY more stuff for my son. the extent of my attachment to mr. mouse is so strong that i picked him over shoes. yes, shoes. please don't judge me.
DH, I had a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle to cuddle at night until I got married, when I switched to my husband. After my daughter died, someone gave me a stuffed rabbit that happened to be just as long as she was, and I cuddled that afterward. It's been eight years, and I still have it in bed with me.
So in my case, I have a security object *because* I procreated. :-)
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