Monday, June 23, 2008

respect for parental authority

Five year-old Lucy is very anxious for the Fourth of July to arrive. She wants fireworks, but, a thrifty child by nature, she didn't want me to buy any more because we had a bag full of old ones. However, further investigation on her part showed that the leftover fireworks are all "snakes", a sort of firework purchased last year by the Sober Husband in a fit of nostalgia. As a small child, he loved this modest firework, and he waxed rhapsodical about how wonderful it was.

Lucy remembered, looking at the boxes of snakes, how spectacularly underwhelmed she'd been with them, which is why we didn't bother to set them all off. "Maybe when he was a little boy, they didn't have such good fireworks, so these seemed better," I proffered.

Lucy was unconvinced. Turning to her father, she asked, "Did you like these?" He admitted he did. "YOU MUST BE AN IDIOT!!" Lucy shouted.

22 comments:

hokgardner said...

And see, snakes are the only kind my older daughter likes - they don't go spinning or flying off and there's little potential for them to set things on fire. She's terrified of things being set on fire and HATES the 4th of July.

Davi said...

Wow. She told him.

This is the kinda thing that gets me through my work day. Thank you, Lucy.

Laggin said...

I love snakes. Still do. And sparklers. Then I'm done. I'll just watch the beautiful big ones the professionals set off!

hughman said...

well we know one princess who won't mind the SH sleeping on the sofa.

i hate fireworks. mainly because they scare polly and she just sits on the bed and shivers when she hears them.

Anonymous said...

how is calling one's father an idiot okay at all? especially when one's parents are having problems at home?

hughman said...

Lucy is only four and i highly doubt her comment was meant in a mean spirited cutting way. she's funny and it was like calling someone a dodo. i doubt the SH was deeply offended.for a grown man to be insulted by a 4 yr old's goofy statement would be pretty sad.

also. i personally don't feel it's young children's job to get involved in the personal matters of their parents. she may, in fact, be oblivious to the elder's conflicts. she's not at an age where she must be obliged to take those events into consideration.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Lucy's actually pretty oblivious about what her parents are going through, and actually since the Sober Husband came home, it's been nice here. Lucy said that in the context of her parents hanging out peacefully together in the dining room.

Why do I think it's funny? It's funny in large part because, as we all acknowledge, the Sober Husband is a genius of sorts. If he were actually kind of dumb, it wouldn't be funny that his child called him an idiot. It would be depressing.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Actually that reminds me: we've had a couple of conversations lately in the home about mean humor and when it's funny. The point I've made is that it's funny when the recipient is powerful (e.g., President Bush) and that it's cruel and not funny when the recipient is not (e.g., an unpopular classmate). We've also agreed that it can be funny when you're joking about something that we all agree the target is great about, but mean if you're joking about a weak point. The example we've used about that is that we (both parents) are forever ribbing Iris about the time she took an IQ test and got a score of 90 (because the test was for grown-ups and not scored to accommodate for a child). Everyone-- especially the conceited Iris Uber Alles -- knows Iris is far too smart for her own good.

hughman said...

i'm starting to think there needs to be a DH reader primer for new visitors who have no idea of the dynamic and personalities involved. including, natch, the commenters who need our own bios so the newbies know how much clout we elders hold.

the Drunken Housewife said...

Ha, I think I will do that and let the commenters write each other's capsule bios. Hughman and Silliyak can write each other's, for example.

hughman said...

that would be AWESOME. my bio for Silliyak would be so cool. i'd talk about how he's a fireman and astronaut and teaches mute children how to sing opera in his spare time! also his nickname at Harvard was "Donkey Kong:".

Silliyak said...

To correct any misconceptions you may have, I'm retired from the FD, I went up BEFORE the Mercury series (I don't know WHY I had to wear the monkey suit.) My nickname has always been smartass, so I can see your confusion. I've never been to Harvard, but I DID go to the Sorbonne, (got the t shirt to prove it) but it was the weekend and the door was locked.
H, you were a roadie for the Monkees weren't you?

hughman said...

oh yeah, roadman AND lead onstage go-go dancer. i also toured with Up With People and a dinner theater production of "Sweet Charity". i was third whore from the right.

Silliyak said...

Another misconception is "teaches mute children how to sing opera" Actually I was screaming at deaf kids in a high girly voice. (How can ye eat yer meat if ye won't eat yer pudding?) What you heard was my attempt at an explanation to CPS for my actions.

hughman said...

oops, sorry. was this before or after you scaled Everest alone and wrote that best selling novel (#1 Amazon China!)?

Silliyak said...

Is there an emoticon to indicate the baring of one's neck? H, you ARE, and have ALWAYS been the Alpha commenter.
DH, Are you at least getting some chuckles here? I'M ON THE ROPES!

hughman said...

of silliyak... i blush and bow to your anointment of me as the Alpha Commnter. i merely try to bring my wry and acerbic viewpoint here to this esteemed blog.

i can assure you, you would receive only the most glowing and triumphant accolades from me. you are, after all, one of the most clever and literate ex-fireman I know.

Silliyak said...

I see us as the jesters for the beautiful, intelligent m'lady, and her court. And it IS all about HER after all.

hughman said...

it IS all about her and her court. i feel lucky to sometimes be included. i may be the Alpha Jester but she is the Alpha Queen. and that is why we come here.

the Drunken Housewife said...

These are the best comments we've had all week! If you guys want to declare some kind of mutual stand-off, you can turn your formidable attentions to writing bios for the other commenters.

hughman said...

oh, um, i'm shy.

Silliyak said...

I can do Jim (if I get immunity from lawsuits).
Brilliant, good looking, recovering litigator and as the song says. "You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and YOU DON'T MESS AROUND WITH JIM!"