why i dont blog.
i know... this guest blog entry is horribly overdue. [More shamefully I still haven't written the two prize entries for the winners who assigned me topics for a prize. I know, I suck. -DH]. i have been suffering from a long spell of writers block, otherwise known as 'my husband travels a lot and i am brain-dead from child care'. i am currently lubricating my mind with a cocktail - the world's most perfect margarita, of which i posted the recipe some time back in the comments section. i invite you to mix one up and drink with me, as i am far more interesting when you are drunk.
i feel honored that my rack has vaulted me into this position - for once the girls pay off!! ok, i lied. they have paid off before. that story involves a stripper and the man i currently call my husband. alas, i digress.
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i apologize in advance for my lack of punctuation and capitalization. you will get used to it. i do in fact know the difference between it's and its. if i ever need to compose a letter to someone, say, Bill Clinton, i will tidy up my writing. if he ever visits me i will also flip the couch cushions to the 'visitor' side. the rest of the world gets all lower case and grungy furniture.
so, back to the title 'why i dont blog'. what do i have to blog about? despite having lived in the hearts of the gay communities of nyc, LA, and SF (yes, another former castro dweller!) i have been calling rural wisconsin my home for the past 4 years. i also went from monthly international travel to being a stay-at-home-mom of 2. and, considering our illustrious hostess - the formidable drunken housewife, has cornered the market on the drunken ramblings of a woman slowly losing her mind, what could i possibly have left to offer? apparently a sentence with far too many commas, thats what.
my husband suggested i write about blow jobs. wow, thats a shocker. i am not sure if its a 'stick with what you know' or more wishful thinking on his part. [This reference is going to win the charming Lemonjuicer even more fans!]
so i give you the blog entry about absolutely nothing.
cheers,
lemonjuicer
And in Lemonjuicer's honor, let us all make the daily drink a margarita and toast her digitized image. Cheers!
I'll get around to reading this post in a week or so, when I'm done staring at the picture.
ReplyDeleteoh lemonjuicer, poor poor you. there have to be some gays SOMEWHERE out there! i'll have a drink for your plight and am impressed that for nothing to blog about, you managed to be so amusing!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the title of the previous entry, following on the heals of yours. Not that I do, not that I even wrote that...shit I'm in trouble now! (Honest dear, one of the cats must have done it!)
ReplyDeleteOh wait, I can sign this anonymously!
I don't mind anyone dreaming about Lemonjuicer's rack; go to it! I am fortunate to have been blessed in that regard myself, and I've never had a moment of jealousy of another woman's fine rack. We mammarily-blessed sisters can have some solidarity together; we can throw back our shoulders and shake our natural endowments in a moment of proud abandon. (I can imagine me, Lemonjuicer, Jack's Raging Mommy, and our commentator Tammy in Vt. and various other well-endowed, hard-drinking readers doing this in a bar, and hopefully someone would be present to document the occasion, but not too well. One of the other mommies from my old preschool has pictures of me flashing my middle-aged rack at a Mommies' Night Out).
ReplyDelete