Comments on shh, don't wake the DRUNKEN HOUSEWIFE: the anniversary debacle

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2011-12-11T22:34:55.039-08:00

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He wasn't an ass for buying me the expensive n...

2011-12-02T21:17:10.654-08:00

He wasn't an ass for buying me the expensive necklace, but I would have been an ass if I'd kept it. His willingness to spend far too much was hugely appreciated by me, but I couldn't accept it.

Wow. WOW. You love to cook -- he got you a gift...

2011-12-02T00:39:27.312-08:00

Wow. WOW.

You love to cook -- he got you a gift for cooking, and he's an asshole.

You love jewelry -- he bought you a necklace, but it's too expensive, so he's an asshole.

He arranged a massage date, which YOU canceled because you were sick, and somehow he's still an asshole.

Wow.

Your being disappointed in BOWLS is "emotiona...

2011-11-15T12:20:40.042-08:00

Your being disappointed in BOWLS is "emotional violence" but his rejecting a gift for being "too scary" is acceptable? He's a big baby!

You guys should quit with the gift-giving, it's just ruining an otherwise lovely occasion. We honor birthdays and anniversaries with things like "I'll get up with the kids, you sleep in." and "I told the children they have to be nice to you ALL DAY or they're grounded!" and the ever-popular "Dinner is in the crockpot. Go play xbox for as long as you want!" It's wonderful.

Make sure you take another shower, so he at least ...

2011-11-14T09:45:25.710-08:00

Make sure you take another shower, so he at least has that opportunity again!

Remember that this is the man who got in the showe...

2011-11-13T15:17:44.816-08:00

Remember that this is the man who got in the shower fully dressed when you were feeling down. He'll find a way.

Yes, a normal person would go for a girls' nig...

2011-11-11T13:11:14.408-08:00

Yes, a normal person would go for a girls' night out, but I can't arrange anything like that due to a long-held neurosis over my birthday. My birthday triggers lifelong issues of feeling unloved and unlovable, and traditionally I spend it crying in bed (with the current significant other sitting on the couch in the living room swearing to himself).

Well, at least if you know you won't be gettin...

2011-11-11T12:56:04.532-08:00

Well, at least if you know you won't be getting anythiing, there won't be the spiral of dislike and guilt... Go get yourself something - like a girls night out with friends.